"Oh, I do know about Merlin! I didn't know he was real, but I'm not really a strong believer in reality at this point...So there's no evil, dark lord trying to destroy the magical realm? Well at least I know I'm not in some wackadoo movie then."
"Well, there is Death, but he's a part of a different story so we won't have to worry about him in this blog series." "Hmmm?" "We will have to worry about Smouldamort though."
"Smouldamort...seriously...." "Don't laugh! He'll come for you next!" "OK! I am so confused right now! Tell me about Lord Alfie, Merlin, and 'Smouldamort.'"
"Alright, little Miss Bossy-pants, here is my recollection of their history:
"Lord Alfie: The first stake war was a war started by western kingdoms against vampires. It was instigated by the great wizard Drudwyn, Merlin's brother. Lord Alfie, a great vampire and good friend of Merlin's, asked Merlin to join the war fighting for the side of the vampires. Merlin did so, but in secret for he would be fighting against Camelot and his dear brother. King Arthur's court never found out about Merlin's treason, but Drudwyn did. Ever since, there has been an ongoing feud between Merlin and his brother. Lord Alfie fought to try and show the world that vampires are not horrible creatures. Most of what people know about them is poppycock. Unfortunately, during the war, Sir Gareth of Orkney drew Lord Alfie threw the heart with a stake, which incidentally would kill anyone. Lord Alfie led the vampires through the stake war, and acted almost as a sovereign over them. All he wanted was to protect his kind. May he rest in peace.
"Merlin: Merlin is the most powerful warlock the world has ever known. Not much else to say there.
"And those are the stories of Lord Alfie, Merlin, and Drudwyn."